my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
