dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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