Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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