remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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