He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
