i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
this is an emotional support booty call
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
