Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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