I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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