my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
