I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
