atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
