I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I came so hard my ears popped.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
