Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
