What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
