i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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