Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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