I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
