Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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