i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize