Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
