Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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