Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
