i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
