I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
