Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
