nut hugger
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
