Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I currently don't understand fingers.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
