Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
