I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
