Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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