Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
