Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
