I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
