Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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