It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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