I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
