would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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