found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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