I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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