you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
