Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
