I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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