He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
