never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
