We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
