shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
