wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
