I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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