I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
