"it" just moved
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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