just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
