I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just forgot I was standing up.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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