i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize