that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
