he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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