We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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