I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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