i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
