there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
