I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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